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The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,
Romans 8:16
REFLECTION
I always knew I’d come back. I don’t think I ever doubted it. Once I’d identified that I was on the wrong path, truly lost, I knew I’d have to get back to the right one eventually.
Trouble is, the path of addiction is out to kill me. And to put off the return journey for another day, a better time, when it’s more convenient, is allowing it more opportunities to take me out.
This is at the heart of the addict’s mindset and approach to daily living. We will justify “one more time” or “one more day” until the bitter end.
We will thrive off the kindnesses of others whose well intentioned patience and forgiveness allows us to sap more miles out of this dark highway.
So, though I felt that I “knew” I’d come back eventually, I was unknowingly at the mercy of a curious stew of God’s will and my stubbornness.
Exit ramps pass us by all the time before we’ve really gone very far into addiction.
But when our life is on the line, when we really want to stop and realize we can’t, we also realize that we are in a long stretch with no sign of a way out.
Sometimes, we will be surprised when a rescue chopper shows up. We may be tempted to wave it on, embarrassed by such an overreaction.
We aren’t that bad off, after all.
But the truth is this: I don’t know where the next exit ramp is. And God, being God, may very well send in the troops to retrieve his child.
The way back may not feel appropriate, but I’d better take it when the opportunity arrives.
God, help me go to any lengths to stay sober.
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