Myself

TRUTH

But as for me, I shall walk in my integrity; redeem me, and be gracious to me. My foot stands on level ground; in the great assembly I will bless the Lord.

Psalm‬ ‭26‬:‭11‬-‭12

REFLECTION

It’s quite the turning point when after we have cleaned up our act, we begin the complete about-face that is necessary for our continued sobriety.

The clean-up portion is often viewed as an endpoint when we are still screwed up.

If only we could stop. Then we’d be ok.

But then we do stop for a moment, and we are miserable.

We are faced with the shock that our vices have become our sustaining force. We have placed ourselves in their care, and though we are lost with them, we cannot imagine a future without them.

This is why early sobriety sucks.

Forget the physical malady for a moment. Once that hurdle is overcome and we put some space between ourselves and our substance, we feel the hollowness of our life.

And there’s rightness in that despair. We were not made to subsist in the void of misery that self-reliance always eventually creates.

We were made to take a remedy. The remedy was made to be given.

In our addiction we found a shortcut and a taste of satisfaction. But it always runs out.

In our sobriety we found the pause button and a taste of redemption. But it’s only the starting point.

We must go further, daily.

Sobriety arrests the corrosive thread we bound ourselves with, but it only shows us the door to a new life.

To walk through it requires choice and action and willingness and faith and the crucifixion of our misplaced hope in ourselves.

God, give me light to see the next steps.

SPONSOR

Reflection and gratitude are invaluable in recovery. Gratitude Plus is a social gratitude journal with an anonymous global feed. Try Gratitude Plus now.

NEXT

When you’re ready, here are some tools for you:

1. Book List (amazon link)
   Some of my favorite reads related to recovery and/or wrestling with faith.

2. 4th Step Guide (free download)
   A PDF with instructions and worksheets for a thorough 4th step. Straight from the Big Book. Fearlessness not included.

3. 12-Step Christianity (YouTube)
   My thoughts on the parallels between discipleship and sponsorship.

KEEP LEANING FORWARD

Cheers, Eamonn
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