Don't Worry

It’s easy to drift into worry and remorse when we are newly sober.

Freshly minted addicts and alcoholics are maybe the best case studies imaginable for self-pity and regret. It’s not without some warrant either.

When we arrive—whether in treatment, counseling, a meeting chair, a church pew or a trusted friend’s couch—the common response to our call for help is immediate, self-effacing fear and loathing.

This often runs in tandem with a deep desire for the pity of others and causes a curious tension between asking for help and retreating into dark, lonely places.

Well, don’t worry. This is normal. The worse it feels, the more honest we are being with ourselves.

The trick is to reach out enough to receive guidance that spurs us into action. The worst thing we can do is stay alone and think.

That AA slogan, “Think think think”, you may see on the wall of a meeting room doesn’t yet apply. In fact, your unaided thinking can probably still kill you at this point.

What do we do then? Just sit and feel miserable?

Well, yes and no. Or rather, no and yes.

No, we ought not sit idly by and do nothing. Action will be the determining factor in whether we string together two days sober instead of just one.

But, yes: we will have to feel miserable for a time.

This is part of the price of admission. As we look back in later years, we will see how this was necessary. We will see how sharing this and how we survived will help others do the same.

Remember, the desire to temper the misery is simply a ploy of our addiction. We have been changing how we feel for so long that it’s no surprise we immediately want to do it again now that we are trying to sober up.

God, help me walk into my misery. Give me the strength to keep going and the hope to know that it is temporary.