Frayed

TRUTH

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

Psalm‬ ‭139‬:‭13

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REFLECTION

For a long time all I wanted was to blend in.

This was balanced by an unnerving desire to stand out, to be unique, to be praised.

We are often full of these opposing forces. I am, at least.

And sure, there’s a balance that many preach as the goal. The completely balanced life being the solid foundational model to aspire towards.

I too, long for more balance on many days.

It seems that the hurries of the world compound the desires of my heart in all the wrong directions.

Then, it’s in the still moments, the quiet retreats for seconds at a time, that I sense a rebirth of the peace that I’m really after.

Do I have to have one to get the other? Are we destined to unravel a bit in order to self-correct, repent, realign?

Maybe rhythm requires an ebb and flow that feels off kilter.

Maybe balance is not a silver bullet.

Maybe it’s just a step along the way on a path that has been preordained.

I have been put here on this path. The ups and downs give it character.

It is my responsibility to course correct when necessary, but I shouldn’t think something’s wrong every time I don’t feel ecstatic.

God, grant me eyes to see your rhythm in all that I do.

NEXT

When you’re ready, here are some tools for you:

1. Book List (amazon link)
   Some of my favorite reads related to recovery and/or wrestling with faith.

2. 4th Step Guide (free download)
   A PDF with instructions and worksheets for a thorough 4th step. Straight from the Big Book. Fearlessness not included.

3. 12-Step Christianity (YouTube)
   My thoughts on the parallels between discipleship and sponsorship.

KEEP LEANING FORWARD

Cheers, Eamonn
Contact on LinkedIn, YouTube & Twitter.