I Know Enough

It’s comical how much I thought I knew before sobriety really got hold of me.

In the dawn of sobriety, everything appears hopeful and serene. The sun is lighting up the path ahead and our lives feel as though they are finally on course.

But as the fog of night fades away, we stumble out of this curious dreamscape with unsteady feet and fading vision. The clarity of the morning becomes a harsh glare before we can even get our bearings.

What now?

Sobriety as an idea was great for a moment, but living in it and through the hurdles of the day proves to be unsettling, difficult and rigid.

Is this what normal people live through?

Take heart. Our emotions are so rattled, our expectations so jumbled and our mind so addled that it’s no surprise we dart from one extreme to another before breakfast.

The period of reconstruction has just begun, and it doesn’t mean things will feel good all the time. This is what they mean by, “the pains of growing up.”

The great relief, our great undoing, our great hope is that we are completely lost and in need of a lot of help and a lot of instruction.

Hopefully we’re ready to accept it.

God, I know nothing. Give me ears to hear the experience of others and courage to take direction.