Loving Hurts

Today’s Reflection

I didn’t care much for others for quite some time. I don’t mean that I was overtly mean or inappropriate. I was just pretty bitter, and I allowed that to seep out in my thoughts of and toward people.

My own misgivings about my own circumstances informed my own perception of you. It was easy to attach anger to my every thought when I coerced it into pieces of apathy, remorse and sarcasm.

There was a woman in my home group who used to always say that, “you don’t have to like everyone in AA, but you do have to love them.”

I vacillated between resenting the remark and respecting the position for years. Initially it did seem like a profound statement that was locked into placing spiritual principles before personalities. Then, I would think it’s just a dumb cop-out for those who were too passive to have a thought, much less an opinion about things.

As I look back with more time and experiences, I’m sure she was on the right track.

We are called to lay aside our moral judgements of others. Removal of my opinion of you and how you live works wonders on my heart and my thought life.

Too often when I focus in on others it’s merely to critique what I either don’t understand or don’t believe. This is not the way. Empathy must become a part of my life. I need its help in navigating relationships as much as I need food and water.

If I’m to live happily, it will be with and around others. And if I’m to do this sincerely and with the hope of doing it permanently, I must rid myself of the attitude of holier than thou which threatens any relationship I may hope to cultivate.

Judgement is not up to me. But love is. I can control my attitude. And with his help I can position myself to love those around me well.

God, help me carry your love in my life.