Not Enough...

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Today’s Reflection

We are constantly butting up against this problem of not enough.

There’s not enough time. Not enough money. Not enough love. And for the addicted, not enough booze, not enough drugs.

When we get to a jumping off point and are able to arrest the cycle for long enough to try something new, we run smack in the face into a new deficit. Not enough takes on a weird, sober form.

What we thought would solve all our issues ends up highlighting the void inside us.

Now we see a startling truth: there’s not enough of us to mend our brokenness.

I would have preferred to lock myself away for a couple weeks of intensive study and self-examination in order to emerge a new, sober person.

But, sobriety is just a status. How I live and what I fill myself up with determine the extent of the fullness of my life.

At the end of ourselves we are able to see the frailty of aloneness. This self sufficiency that seemed so desirous is now a horror to behold.

As we invite God to do whatever wacky work he’s got planned for us, we begin to move aside and allow His strength to inform us.

It’s only a beginning, but it turns out to be enough. This is the need we were after, and as we keep leaning into it through good days and bad we begin to see the truth in it.

God, get me out of the way of my own recovery. Fill me and lead me forward.