Pretty Hate Machine

TRUTH

But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.

Isaiah‬ ‭64‬:‭8

REFLECTION

I am often adrift in my own mind. Often discontent by my own making. Often uneasy by my own misgivings.

I bristle subconsciously to think that I’m not in control of something so primal as myself.

What is control?

Can I even wrestle my thoughts away from temptation? Or do they scatter into the dark places in moments where I try and direct them?

I am not my own, though I think and feel that I am.

This was proven in addiction as I sailed far away from reason and control and the good things I now try to hold.

I am fragile. Subject to the summation of the ideas I expose myself to.

Where then will my focus remain?

I try in the quiet to regain a right rhythm.

I try in the morning to synchronize my thoughts with His.

I try to remember throughout the day that I am living on borrowed time.

I try to recall the past enough to direct the adventure in front of me.

The machine still beats within us all, though. On this side of heaven, temptation is never fully crucified.

Let’s make haste to turn our will and lives over to Him daily.

God, keep me in bounds, gratefully, in your will.

SPONSOR

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NEXT

When you’re ready, here are some tools for you:

1. Book List (amazon link)
   Some of my favorite reads related to recovery and/or wrestling with faith.

2. 4th Step Guide (free download)
   A PDF with instructions and worksheets for a thorough 4th step. Straight from the Big Book. Fearlessness not included.

3. 12-Step Christianity (YouTube)
   My thoughts on the parallels between discipleship and sponsorship.

KEEP LEANING FORWARD

Cheers, Eamonn
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