Relax Already

TRUTH

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

James‬ ‭1‬:‭19‬-‭20

REFLECTION

Slow it down.

Many of the relational hiccups I’ve encountered could have been smoothed over—or entirely avoided—if I had followed this advice.

Think before speaking.

It does wonders for the words that eventually do or do not come out of my mouth. It tempers the hotheadedness that can threaten friendship and peace.

Listen.

It’s hard to listen. Especially when I’ve got something to say. It’s harder still when I’ve listened for a bit and need to interject.

I’ve got the solution. I’ve got your solution. I know what you should do.

Even in moments where I’m trying to be helpful. Even with the best of intentions. If I don’t lay them out appropriately and at the right time, I’ll just spoil the opportunity to be helpful.

In all of this, we guard against our own anger. We blockade our aggression by slowing down and really seeing the truth of the situation—without judgment.

It is very common to be listening to someone’s woes in recovery and to want to give help and advice and strength and hope.

But it’s equally common that they aren’t ready and willing to receive it. So we listen. We pray for patience. We offer our guidance when it’s asked for.

And we don’t if it’s not.

We relax.

I had a lot of trouble with that last piece. And I only learned it through a lot of wasted breath.

God, help me give hope to others in the right way at the right time.

SPONSOR

Reflection and gratitude are invaluable in recovery. Gratitude Plus is a social gratitude journal with an anonymous global feed. Try Gratitude Plus now.

NEXT

When you’re ready, here are some tools for you:

1. Book List (amazon link)
   Some of my favorite reads related to recovery and/or wrestling with faith.

2. 4th Step Guide (free download)
   A PDF with instructions and worksheets for a thorough 4th step. Straight from the Big Book. Fearlessness not included.

3. 12-Step Christianity (YouTube)
   My thoughts on the parallels between discipleship and sponsorship.

KEEP LEANING FORWARD

Cheers, Eamonn
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