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Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Psalm 90:14
REFLECTION
It’s an easy thing to become stuck in the habit of feeling like I am searching. Days can go by, weeks even, and there is little satisfaction felt.
But am I searching in the right places?
Yes, I can fill time with the right things—with going through motions. But at the heart of it, in my heart, am I seeking Him or am I (again) seeking to feel productive, feel right, feel good?
In addiction there is no other time that so describes our longing like the morning.
We wake. Or come to. And despite the beauty of the new day ahead we are gifted, our first thoughts are of ourselves.
If we are coming to from a particularly bad night, we may began searching the pieces of memory left to decipher what happened. We may run through an inventory of our actions as we are used to doing at this point.
But then we get to the task at hand. What’s next? How will we somehow repeat yesterday’s intentions without its mistakes? How will we satisfy ourselves despite knowing that it seems all but hopeless?
Yet we also know we will try again.
Thank God this cycle is breakable. Thank God satisfaction exists. Yes, it is possible to fulfill the restless wandering of our very being.
But it takes a process and time.
God, give me the patience to keep coming back.
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