Sober Haze

When we first clean up, the haze settles in. Like a fog of war, it’s difficult to make out which way to go.

We are satisfied—at least for the moment—to be cleaning up our act, but it’s unsettling to consider what comes next.

Will we have to revise the entire course of our life? Will we have to renounce the friends we’ve known for years? Will we really never drink again? What about weddings and vacations and parties and weekends?

The haze is overwhelming, but these thoughts will only inflate it further.

Like a fog, we can still see what’s right in front of us. This is what matters. The immediate next steps.

We must learn to fill in the blanks of our days with actual, meaningful activity. We learn that we are not the center of attention for anyone other than ourselves.

We learn to navigate through the haze, to find our footing in sobriety, and it is here that we begin to see glimmers of the possibilities ahead.

We start to realize that sobriety is a gift. Without the distortion of addiction, we begin to understand what clarity is. This second chance is an opportunity.

Our old habits and routines no longer serve us. We begin to let go of the people and situations that triggered behavior. We replace them with healthy relationships and activities that support our sobriety.

We learn that sobriety is not about deprivation, but about enrichment. We discover new interests and passions. We reconnect with our true selves and with others in a more authentic and meaningful way. We start to build a life that is fulfilling and rewarding, a life that we are proud to live.

This is a difficult journey. A journey, though, that leads us to a life of freedom, happiness, and peace.

God, guide my hazy steps on the path to freedom.