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For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
James 1:20
REFLECTION
Anger is easy to spot. But what about its precursors?
What about the meandering bitterness disguised with humor or cunning or wit?
Where do the first sparks of it began to fertilize in our hearts? It doesn’t usually begin with the fire of rage.
It was a guarded affair in my own life. You wouldn’t have seen it for a long time. I denied it for longer.
Perhaps it never flamed to the surface as it can do when left unattended, but it wore into my inner being, nonetheless.
For me, anger began in timid rebellion. I wasn’t brave enough to truly act out in the beginning. But I developed a callousness and spite that whittled away at my restraint.
My family bore the brunt of this. We were somewhat damaged through the dizzying array of my inability to live with consideration to others.
In the aftermath of cleaning up, it became apparent how selfish my attitude had been. It became obvious how much pain the callousness caused.
And, importantly, it became clear that there remained a chance for restitution and a new beginning.
Years down the road, I continue to live in the benefits of second chances. Much has been repaired and most of the turmoil has been left in the hallways of memory.
But we remain with the choices of the day in front of us. I want to fan the flame of goodness today. I want to fertilize my heart with the insulation that comes from God rather than the flimsy things I used to chase.
I’m not perfect by a long shot, but right perspective continues to pay dividends.
God, help me always spot the anger that sneaks into my heart.
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