True North

Many times I’ve had the wrong view of God’s intentions. I’ve found it difficult to not ascribe a stuffy, legalistic view to spiritual matters. I’ve been unable to unpin religious fervor from spiritual yearning.

It’s pretty easy to view God as a buzzkill. Full of a bunch of rules and beatitudes and parables.

And in a way He is a buzzkill for the direction my life tends to go when I’m hyper focused on my own desires, my own feelings, my own story.

But in the mess of addiction, in the sloppy gunk of early sobriety, and in the rocky difficulty of navigating life, it becomes apparent that we need a compass. Without true north, we are in a perpetual state of running in circles.

Turns out, God’s intentions were in our best interests all along. They don’t sit well with us because they take us out of the driver’s seat. They remove us from the focus of our own story, our own lives.

This is a tough pill to swallow even when we are desperate. Even at our worst, it can be hard to turn over the steering wheel.

And that’s what he needs us to do. He’s got a course charted, but he has to drive. He knows where to go, but we have to surrender. The journey will end up bringing us fulfillment and joy, but we have to stop seeking it on our own terms.

God, I want to follow; take the wheel.