- Progress and Perfection
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- Willing to Change
TRUTH
Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!
Psalm 143:10
REFLECTION
The vertigo of self-will takes years to settle.
It isn’t even something I noticed when I first began to use it. It takes time to permeate.
In the beginning, it made me nauseous drifting off course, doing my own thing, pulling away from the structure of the beam.
In the beginning, I was uncertain in the smallest infractions. I was nervous as I let the subtle trappings of addiction take hold.
This is all before the first drink.
We don’t have to be drinking or using to begin developing the mind of an addict. The drift can begin well ahead of that.
This makes the plunge into substances more lucrative.
By the time I began to experiment with drinking, I was sufficiently prepped to need the relief it provided.
The self-seeking had hit the first tipping point. It went from teenage bitterness into willingness.
I was willing to try something dangerous.
I was willing to change.
I was willing to follow.
I was willing to put my faith in something outside myself.
The beginnings of heartache feel great.
And just like that, we develop a necessary ingredient of sobriety right before our first drink.
God, use my willingness in the right ways.
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NEXT
When you’re ready, here are some tools for you:
Book List (amazon link)
Some of my favorite reads related to recovery and/or wrestling with faith.4th Step Guide (free download)
A PDF with instructions and worksheets for a thorough 4th step. Straight from the Big Book. Fearlessness not included.12-Step Christianity (YouTube)
My thoughts on the parallels between discipleship and sponsorship.
KEEP LEANING FORWARD
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