Wise Failure

TRUTH

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

Psalm‬ ‭90‬:‭12

REFLECTION

Most days I still think I’ll live forever.

It’s pretty laughable, but it’s true.

Even in the days of active addiction, the realities of mortality seemed ephemeral.

I never really acknowledged the fragility of this life and the possibilities beyond it.

I was stuck in moments. I was happy to wallow in quicksand.

Numbering my days is a learned behavior that I’m still mostly terrible at.

I’m inclined to sit back and let them drift by with little regard for my contribution outside of moments here and there.

It takes effort to regard these days as the only currency that means anything.

The bells and whistles of the stuff within the days—all the toys and relationships and money—vies for my attention.

It usually gets it.

It was of upmost importance to sit down with my mortality and take stock.

The reality is grim. The time to change is now. The opportunity is wide open. The key is action.

Grace extends past any obstacle, but I had to take a step toward it to fall into its undertow.

Hope brings light to the dark paths I walked, but I had to turn around to see it.

I may have wasted a lot of my days, but I want to live in this day.

God, give me a restlessness to walk toward your wisdom.

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NEXT

When you’re ready, here are some tools for you:

1. Book List (amazon link)
   Some of my favorite reads related to recovery and/or wrestling with faith.

2. 4th Step Guide (free download)
   A PDF with instructions and worksheets for a thorough 4th step. Straight from the Big Book. Fearlessness not included.

3. 12-Step Christianity (YouTube)
   My thoughts on the parallels between discipleship and sponsorship.

KEEP LEANING FORWARD

Cheers, Eamonn
Contact on LinkedIn, YouTube & Twitter.